Wishing
I'm gonna be really honest right now.
I wish that I was like my friend Laura. Never talking bad about anyone. Being a good...no AWESOME...believer in Christ. I wish that I could walk in Christ like she does. Her life hasn't been easy, but it's been easier than mine.
Granted her mom and dad divorced due to infidelity and her dad remarried. But her dad is still alive. My dad committed suicide. boo to that!!!
But her parents raised her in the church. Mine didn't. My grandparents took me and my younger sister to church. It was an EXTREME rarity that my mom went to church. I only remember my dad going ONCE and that was because I was in the Children's Choir and we were doing a play one Sunday night.
I think that if my parent's had raised me in church, I wouldn't have made some many mistakes. That's not to say that ALL church going people are mistake free. We all make mistakes. I just think that mine would be few and far between. I would still be a virgin right now...like Laura. I would have a lot of church friends...like Laura. My life would be a little more complete...like Laura's is.
She prays every night, with family and friends. She prays for people. I don't think she has very many regrets...or at least not to my knowledge. And I have known her my WHOLE life. That's like almost 20 years....well we have known each other since I think K-5.
I want to be pure again....like Laura. She's 25 and still a virgin. I am EXTREMELY proud of her for that!!! Granted I moved out and she still lives at home. I don't really regret that portion of my life. I knew it was time for me to move out on my own and make a new life for myself.
I just...well, I just wish that I could have had a wonderful, Christ filled life like Laura has had her whole life. I've been to church my whole life, too. But my parents never enforced a God like household or anything. They rarely went to church. And that makes me sad. We never had "Our church." We had "Our grandparent's church." West Side Baptist Church in Bessemer, Alabama. Then, after my grandmother moved closer to my mom's house, it was Clear view Baptist Church in Pinson, Alabama.
Clear view is where I accepted Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. It's the church that I joined. It's the church that, at the age of 18, was baptised in. But it was never "MY church." It was my grandmother's church.
Do I regret joining and being baptised in this church? NO I don't. Do I regret never making it MY church? Yes I do...whole hearted!!! I never felt like I truly BELONGED in this church. There are so many clicks in it!!! I have seen 3 new pastor's...my grandmother has seen 4 new pastors...go through this church. It used to be full of people of ALL ages when Pastor Kenny was there....then when he left, so did the majority of the congregation.
I want to go to church again. Very badly. Starting out on just Sunday. I want to find a church that fits not only me, but my fiance as well. Whether it be nondenomintal christian or a Catholic church...I just want it to fit US.
Laura's church fits her and family PERFECTLY. They fit in. They have friends there...SOOOO many friends there. I've been there before and her church doesn't fit me. There is a church for everyone!!!
But I just wish that I could be more Christ like like Laura is.
I wish that I was like my friend Laura. Never talking bad about anyone. Being a good...no AWESOME...believer in Christ. I wish that I could walk in Christ like she does. Her life hasn't been easy, but it's been easier than mine.
Granted her mom and dad divorced due to infidelity and her dad remarried. But her dad is still alive. My dad committed suicide. boo to that!!!
But her parents raised her in the church. Mine didn't. My grandparents took me and my younger sister to church. It was an EXTREME rarity that my mom went to church. I only remember my dad going ONCE and that was because I was in the Children's Choir and we were doing a play one Sunday night.
I think that if my parent's had raised me in church, I wouldn't have made some many mistakes. That's not to say that ALL church going people are mistake free. We all make mistakes. I just think that mine would be few and far between. I would still be a virgin right now...like Laura. I would have a lot of church friends...like Laura. My life would be a little more complete...like Laura's is.
She prays every night, with family and friends. She prays for people. I don't think she has very many regrets...or at least not to my knowledge. And I have known her my WHOLE life. That's like almost 20 years....well we have known each other since I think K-5.
I want to be pure again....like Laura. She's 25 and still a virgin. I am EXTREMELY proud of her for that!!! Granted I moved out and she still lives at home. I don't really regret that portion of my life. I knew it was time for me to move out on my own and make a new life for myself.
I just...well, I just wish that I could have had a wonderful, Christ filled life like Laura has had her whole life. I've been to church my whole life, too. But my parents never enforced a God like household or anything. They rarely went to church. And that makes me sad. We never had "Our church." We had "Our grandparent's church." West Side Baptist Church in Bessemer, Alabama. Then, after my grandmother moved closer to my mom's house, it was Clear view Baptist Church in Pinson, Alabama.
Clear view is where I accepted Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. It's the church that I joined. It's the church that, at the age of 18, was baptised in. But it was never "MY church." It was my grandmother's church.
Do I regret joining and being baptised in this church? NO I don't. Do I regret never making it MY church? Yes I do...whole hearted!!! I never felt like I truly BELONGED in this church. There are so many clicks in it!!! I have seen 3 new pastor's...my grandmother has seen 4 new pastors...go through this church. It used to be full of people of ALL ages when Pastor Kenny was there....then when he left, so did the majority of the congregation.
I want to go to church again. Very badly. Starting out on just Sunday. I want to find a church that fits not only me, but my fiance as well. Whether it be nondenomintal christian or a Catholic church...I just want it to fit US.
Laura's church fits her and family PERFECTLY. They fit in. They have friends there...SOOOO many friends there. I've been there before and her church doesn't fit me. There is a church for everyone!!!
But I just wish that I could be more Christ like like Laura is.
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