Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time, there lived a girl named Erin. She was the happiest girl there ever was in all the land.

Then her dad died. When he died, a part of her heart died too. She was told that she would heal. That her heart would heal. That it would get better. But it didn't feel like it...not for a very long time.

Erin had some people that she thought were friends and family tell her that it was time to get over the death of her father. "How do you just 'get over' the death of someone important", she asked. These people were left completely speechless by that question. She was also told, "Well it's been a year (five years, 10 years, etc). There's no reason that you should still be crying over him. It makes us uncomfortable."

"I'm sorry it makes you uncomfortable, but when YOU lose a parent, don't come crying to me about it. I don't want to hear about how hard it is for you to move on or how hard it is for you to stop crying and mourning after so many years," Erin said to these people.

When Erin said that, those people were flabbergasted by that. They didn't understand WHY Erin was so mad. It would be a while (for some, just months and others, it would be years) to understand why Erin was incredibly sad and was continuing to mourn something that had happened 15.5 (16 years come December) years ago.

Moral of the story is this:
     Do NOT tell someone when the right time to stop mourning is!!! You have no clue to what they are feeling, not 100%. Let them know that it's ok to mourn, even years after a death of an important family member happens. It's not your place to tell them when THEY need to stop mourning (or to start for that matter). You must give them the time and respect that they deserve. Lend them your ear, lend them a shoulder to cry on, lend them your time. Just listen to them and allow them to cry. Allow them to be a blubbering mourner. They will be forever grateful to you for just being there to listen. Tell them you love them. Tell them you may not fully understand their pain, but that you love them and are there for them if they need you again. Trust me, it will be much appreciated.




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