Missing My Grandmother

I'm still missing my grandmother something fierce. She had my heart and I had hers. I will forever be grateful for her and her love. 

I was taking a shower one day (I take a shower everyday) and I smelled what I thought was the scent she always wore. It was a fleeting moment. But I still smelled it. As I was standing in the shower letting the water fall over me, I was wondering if it was really her scent or not. 

So, I decided to do a sniff of my bath stuff and my husband's bath stuff. The scent wasn't any of those things. All I could do was smile. Smile because she came to see me. Smile because it was like she was telling me that it was ok and that she was ok. That she was in heaven and was whole again. No more broken bones, her blood pressure was normal again, no more anemia, and that her eyesight was back to normal again. 

For these things I am forever grateful. 

But that doesn't mean that I'm not still heartbroken over her death. 

I know that she is in Heaven with God and with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that she is in heaven with her husband (and my grandfather). She's in Heaven with my father. She's with her entire family that went before her. She's with my dad's family that went before all of us. She's with friends and other family members that went before us all. 

I just wanted her for one more year. At least, until she turned 95. I know, I know...that's just selfish of me to want that. 

What would I do to get her back, you ask?

Well, I'd spend more time with her. Celebrate her. I'd love for her to spend one more Christmas with us in 2018. I'd want to celebrate one more birthday with her...her 95th. I'd love to have her here again to celebrate my mom's birthday, my aunts birthday, my birthday, her birthday, my sister's birthday, my nephew's birthday, one more of my niece's birthdays, and my husband's and brother in law's birthday's. Just basically let everything be about family and about her. If it wasn't for her, my family as we know it wouldn't be here today. 

My heart will forever be missing another piece. I called her Gay-Gay.

Gay-Gay, 
May you forever Rest in Piece. May you always know how much everyone loved you...even if you drove people slightly crazy. You will be deeply missed until the end of our days. 
Until we meet again!!!
I love you

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