Missing My Grandmother Still
My heart is still heavy with sadness and missing my grandmother.
I miss her terribly...and always will. See, I was her first grandchild ever. My aunt and uncle couldn't have children of their own and they also tried many times with adoption without success.
She had my heart and I had hers.
This will be the first Christmas without her. I am usually all happy-go-lucky when it comes to Christmas. And I was prior to her death. Now I'm like, "Meh!! It's not so fun anymore." I'm hoping that my love of Christmas will return. Thanksgiving and Christmas are two of my favorite times of the year!!!
It was also my grandmother's two favorite times of the year. She always wanted her entire family with her for these two celebrations. Always.
My heart is just...heavy...to say the least. I look at my tree and can't help but think of my grandmother. I hadn't gotten her anything for Christmas because I was waiting until a little closer to get something for her. She would always say that she didn't want anything. She'd make a big deal about it. She'd also say that she had too many gifts. But she'd also complain if we DIDN'T get her anything.
I know this sounds bad, but I'm glad that I hadn't gotten her anything for Christmas prior to her death.
I'm still trying to process my feelings. I have good days and then I listen to a song and then I start crying. I know I'll have more good days than bad as time goes on. I'm just thankful that I had her for 32 years. I'm grateful for her. I love her and miss her dearly.
I know that I will see her again one day. I know that she's with me and that I can call upon her at anytime for anything for any reason. It's going to be interesting.
I also still have her number programmed into my phone. I keep expecting to see her name pop up on my phone. I also have smelled her perfume that she used to wear when I was little. I knew she was there at that point in time. I really miss that scent.
Granny,
If you are reading this from Heaven or over my shoulder, please know that I love and miss you something terrible. That I wish I could see you again. I know that one day we will be reunited. I wish that Heaven had a phone number and all I had to do was dial that number and be directed straight to you and granddaddy and even my dad. 24 years for granddaddy, 16 years for daddy, and about a month for you. Please know that I am looking forward to the day that we get to see each other again. I know that you are healed from everything. You can see clearly now. You can walk normally again. You are with the love of your life. You are with your entire family that went before you. I can't wait to meet people that went before us. I'm trying not to be sad, but it's hard. I just wish that I could see you again. Maybe in a dream to where I can hug you and Granddaddy and daddy one more time. You are the most precious person I have ever had the privilege of knowing and loving. May you forever Rest In Heaven.
I miss her terribly...and always will. See, I was her first grandchild ever. My aunt and uncle couldn't have children of their own and they also tried many times with adoption without success.
She had my heart and I had hers.
This will be the first Christmas without her. I am usually all happy-go-lucky when it comes to Christmas. And I was prior to her death. Now I'm like, "Meh!! It's not so fun anymore." I'm hoping that my love of Christmas will return. Thanksgiving and Christmas are two of my favorite times of the year!!!
It was also my grandmother's two favorite times of the year. She always wanted her entire family with her for these two celebrations. Always.
My heart is just...heavy...to say the least. I look at my tree and can't help but think of my grandmother. I hadn't gotten her anything for Christmas because I was waiting until a little closer to get something for her. She would always say that she didn't want anything. She'd make a big deal about it. She'd also say that she had too many gifts. But she'd also complain if we DIDN'T get her anything.
I know this sounds bad, but I'm glad that I hadn't gotten her anything for Christmas prior to her death.
I'm still trying to process my feelings. I have good days and then I listen to a song and then I start crying. I know I'll have more good days than bad as time goes on. I'm just thankful that I had her for 32 years. I'm grateful for her. I love her and miss her dearly.
I know that I will see her again one day. I know that she's with me and that I can call upon her at anytime for anything for any reason. It's going to be interesting.
I also still have her number programmed into my phone. I keep expecting to see her name pop up on my phone. I also have smelled her perfume that she used to wear when I was little. I knew she was there at that point in time. I really miss that scent.
Granny,
If you are reading this from Heaven or over my shoulder, please know that I love and miss you something terrible. That I wish I could see you again. I know that one day we will be reunited. I wish that Heaven had a phone number and all I had to do was dial that number and be directed straight to you and granddaddy and even my dad. 24 years for granddaddy, 16 years for daddy, and about a month for you. Please know that I am looking forward to the day that we get to see each other again. I know that you are healed from everything. You can see clearly now. You can walk normally again. You are with the love of your life. You are with your entire family that went before you. I can't wait to meet people that went before us. I'm trying not to be sad, but it's hard. I just wish that I could see you again. Maybe in a dream to where I can hug you and Granddaddy and daddy one more time. You are the most precious person I have ever had the privilege of knowing and loving. May you forever Rest In Heaven.
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