My Trip of a Lifetime

Actually, I know that I don't want them. Not sure how I tell my husband, other than just say it very bluntly to him...HONEY I DON'T WANT KIDS. But that way just sounds mean. Why do I not want them?? Reason is is that I don't have that motherly urge. I don't ooh and ahh over baby and kid stuff like I used to. I don't ooh and ahh over babies anymore. I can't and don't see myself being a mother. I don't think it's fair to bring one or more into this world when I don't want to be a parent. I think that it would be a MASSIVE mistake for me to have a child when I feel like this. And ladies who ARE mothers, please do not tell me that this "phase" will pass. This is not a pass ladies. Nor will I EVER regret NOT having a child. I'm sure that if I did have one, I'd love it regardless. But unfortunately, I don't have that maternal urge like a lot of women have. It's not that I hate kids, cause I don't. I love kids. I ...

Well, I may be going back to school here before long. Maybe is the key word. If I do go back to school, it will be for Medical Assistant. My mom is helping me try to get in to this one particular school. It will be all online. But first, we have to make sure that Alabama's Medical Assistants Accrediation people will allow this particular school. If they will, then I will be able to start soon. I just hope that it comes through for me. I really need to be able to get this degree. I need to be able to make more money than just $11.83 an hour. I need to be able to work anywhere instead of in an ER or in a department store. I just hope it comes through.

So, I am selling a few things on eBay right now. It's only 8 things. I'm getting views and a couple of watchers, but no one is buying these 8 things. AHHHHHH!!!! I get that not everyone is gonna buy what I have...or that they may find the same stuff but a lower price. The members only leather jacket has had around 88-90 views, but no buyers. Its $18.75...or around that price range!!! I was originally asking $50 for it!!! That's a major drop in price. If you are interested in it, come to www.ebay.com and look for the screen name manderin113. That would be me selling the MEMBERS ONLY LEATHER JACKET.

Well when I do have pms, I'm angry and sad and depressed. Not sure why. I hate the feeling. 

So, there is probable cause that my husband and I may be moving to the Huntsville/Madison area of Alabama. Why?? Because he may be getting a promotion. May is the key word here. I am scared half to death to move so freaking far away from my side of the family. My grandmother is in her late 80s, my mom has breast cancer, and my sister has had seziures in the past (seziure free for 4 maybe 5 years). If something were to go wrong with them, then I don't really know what to do. I mean, my mother in law has been in the hospital due to some medical issues she has. I understand being scared because of my husband. He was scared when his mom had surgery and everything. But still. I'm not sure what my moving would do to my grandmother. She's 88. She's lost a substantial amount of weight. She's on like 2-3 blood pressure medicine's. She's truly sickly. Not to mention that she is legally blind and can no longer drive anymore. I think it'll be hardest on her....

Today is a good day. Today I feel blessed...beyond blessed actually. I have a friend who's house burnt down a few nights ago. It's basically destroyed. I have friends who are going through divorces. My husband says he will never leave me and I believe him. (I have had trust issues with guys in the past.) I've watched people go through all sorts of stuff. I'm not saying that it won't happen to me. Anything can happen to anyone at anytime. I feel lucky. I feel beyond blessed. I shouldn't complain about my life. How I had second thoughts about stuff...which should have never come up. I have an amazing family and I have amazing in laws. Everyone's lives suck from time to time. That's inevitable. It's how you DEAL with it that makes all the difference.

My husband and I have a new puppy. His name is Jagger. He is a Pit Bull MIX. Mix is the key word. We know that he has pit bull in him for sure, but we don't know what other breed is in him. We both wanna find out what is all in him. He is 6 months old now. The sweetest thing EVER. All he wants to do is love you to death. We get "attacked'' in nothing but puppy kisses. He loves to snuggle. He snores when he is most comfortable. hehehe!!!!! He is the prettiest shade of gray and white. Oh how I love Jagger dog.